As an author, I usually right fiction. Paranormal fantasy romance, to be precise. But once in a while I feel I need to address issues in the world around me, instead of one I’ve created. And this is one of those times. Roe vs. Wade. It was controversial in the ’70’s, and it is no […]
The Answer is Never Simple — Mellie E. Miller
Or is it?
Yesterday I was grocery shopping and saw they had garden plants out at Kroger and the DIY store next door. So I spent a few minutes looking at what they had. Eventually, aside from one little pot of rosemary, I chose to wait.
And I’m glad I did.
After yesterday’s temperatures up in the high 70’s (Fahrenheit), it was in the 30’s when we got up this morning. And the last I heard about tomatoes, they like heat and sunshine.
Well, sunshine we have, and the temperatures will probably be warm this afternoon. But we built a fire this morning to take away the chill.
And this brought my mind around to old sayings, wives’ tales, and things the old folks say.
My grandfather was a firm believer in planting by the moon. He was especially particular about potatoes. Every year, he and my mother would have a loud discussion about when to plant what. My parents had converted to a rather fundamentalist religion, and planting by the moon was a small half-step away from witchcraft.
But a lot of the time, my grandfather was right. And did he let everyone know about it!
I’m at that point in life where I wish I’d had more time to learn from him. Yes, he was a cranky old curmudgeon, but he had a wealth of information to pass along, if you could get past the roughness.
Now down here in the South, the old-timers tell me not to plant anything which isn’t cold hardy–like kale, cabbages, collards, and those type things–until after Easter. This last cold snap and frost we have is called “blackberry winter.” And you shouldn’t plant much before that.
So, I would like for you to share your thoughts on planting with me.
What folklore have you heard about planting and seasons? Do you plant according to any of them?
Wishing you a wonderful weekend and a healthy, happy life!
This past month or so, since shortly before the elections, has been filled with turmoil and negativity. And it seems the momentum is scarcely slowing at all, even with the elections over. Everywhere I look online, someone is railing at someone else about the results.
Come on folks. The election was over two weeks ago. We can do nothing now to change the results. Whether your candidate won or lost, what we have is what we have, for the next four years. Complaining about losing or crowing about winning changes nothing, but it will lose you friends and peace of mind.
The thing about beating a dead horse is that it will never get up to run again. No matter what you do to it, it is still a dead horse. You can yell, kick, scream, or threaten it all you like. And it will continue to lie there and do nothing.
It’s the same thing with life. When you reach a point where a thing can’t be changed, move on. Let it go. While it might be nice to live in a world where a thing can be, not be, or be anything (Robert A. Heinlein–Waldo and Magic Inc.) it just isn’t so. And I’m sure if it were true, there would be at least as many things to complain about as we have now.
For one things is true. When we get stuck in the rut of complaint and negativity, it can be hard to get back out. There are always negative things in the world, things we don’t like, and things we would like to see done differently. When all we do is look for things which have gone wrong, or which bring us down, eventually, that’s all we see.
And as we create our own bit of reality, where our hearts and minds are, so is our world.
I have a challenge for you. It’s right at 30 days before Christmas, a holiday many of you celebrate. It is supposed to be a season of peace and joy.
For the next 30 days, find something positive each day to focus on. Give thanks. Show gratitude. Be kind.
And for those of you on Facebook and Twitter, if you post anything at all, you must post at least one item which is uplifting in some way. It can be a humorous way of looking at life–without putting anyone down. It can be a statement of thanks or gratitude. It can point out something of beauty in nature, something that makes us stop and smile.
Pretty soon, if we all join in, we can turn this incoming tide of negativity and bring in joy, peace, and thanks.
Will you join me?
Gratitude. It’s a word we hear often these days. But what does it mean?
According to the dictionary, it is the quality of being thankful. It can also mean ready to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
Why is this so important to our success and happiness?
Think of two children for a moment. One is that child everyone loves. He’s happy, cooperative and excited over any little gift or kindness. Rushing away after a sincere thank you and hug, he shares his gift with others. You want to surprise him with a little something just to see his reaction.
The other child is stubborn, recalcitrant, and no matter what you do for him, it’s never enough. He wanted the red one, not the blue. Why did you get him a toy car instead of a toy truck? Why are you always putting him in time-out, just because he got mad at not getting what he wanted? You should have known… The new toy or treat is thrown onto the floor before he turns his back and stomps away.
Which child are you going to favor? Do you reward the ungrateful child for his temper tantrums and his rudeness by trying to second guess what he’ll want today?
Or will he be passed over in favor of the child who is happy to get anything you bring for him?
The universe is the same way.
Unless you can be thankful for where you are and what you have, why should it give you anything different? If all you do is complain about your circumstances, why should you have something better?
Find things in your life for which you can give thanks. Do you have a roof over your head? A job? Transportation to that job? Is there food on your table?
Maybe you’re one of those people blessed with good health. With medical costs as high as they are, that is definitely something you can be grateful for.
Start today.
Make a list of all the good things in your life. As you write each one down, say thank you. Do it each day, until being grateful or thankful is your way of life.
When it comes to life and its blessings, it all starts with Gratitude. If your requests aren’t founded in gratitude, very little will come of them.
What is the key to the universe? I’m not sure about all of that. But I do know that Gratitude plays a great role.
Gratitude. Make it a way of life.
Yes, sometimes they can come out with doozies in public. But sometimes, there is wisdom there. One of our grandsons, nicknamed Mort, has always been older than the years he’s lived, so it pays to listen when he has something to say. The quiet child of the family, his comments can be easily overshadowed by his older brother, who has been talking nearly non-stop since he learned how to talk.
I recently started a new fitness program–the 21 Day Fix–which is a tough workout. I am sore all over. Trust me on this. Who thought a bedroom on the second floor was a great idea? I seriously considered sliding down the banister this morning.
After my workout, our daughter phoned and we talked about exercising. She quoted the old saying, “Sweat is fat cells crying.”
And then she added Mort’s saying.
“Pain is weakness leaving the body.”
It’s all in your perception. Before I began my workout this morning, I was still very sore from the days before. If I had been asked if I felt like working out, the answer would have been “no.”
If the question had been, “Do you feel you can manage today’s workout?” the answer would have been the same.
But the question of the day was, “Are you going to give it all you’ve got?”
The answer to that was a resounding, “Yes!”
And I did well. I finished the workout, part of it with modifications. But I did it! Once I decided that this was what was going to happen, the mind drove the body. Because sometimes, if we listen to the body, we’ll give up before we try. There are always excuses.
But I am determined to finish this program. It’s 21 days, half an hour a day. To quote from one of my novels, “Let me tell you a secret,” Jareth said. “If you look at it this way, it’s easier. Just remember you can withstand anything as long as you know it will end. As long as you know the condition is temporary, you can do anything you need to do. The power to do it is within you.”–from Viviane, First Lady
There is a lot of truth in that. I know that at the most I have 30 minutes of training each session. I can do anything for 30 minutes. Break it down even further. Each exercise lasts only 1 minute, or 60 seconds. I can do that. I can manage anything for 60 seconds.
Mind over matter. The concept is ancient, but it is still true.
Pain isn’t an evil thing to be avoided at all costs–at least in this instance. The muscles won’t get stronger unless they break down and rebuild. And that’s going to make them sore.
Hence, pain is weakness leaving the body.
I’m gonna lose a lot of weakness over the next 21 days. Who’s with me?
And if you’d like a copy of the book, Viviane, First Lady will be released later this month, and will soon be available on Amazon.com. Fantasy Romance on a highland world ruled by psychic leaders. Our fiery leading lady has just come into her psychic powers and struggles to gain control over them. One of these abilities is as an energy healer.
Here’s my author page!
http://www.amazon.com/Mellie-Miller/e/B00954K2C8
Or go over to my Authors Blog at http://melliemiller.com for news on what I’m writing.
Have a great week!
“You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mr. In-Between”
This catchy little song by Johnny Mercer back in 1944 makes a good point. Look for the positive things in life. Don’t dwell on the negative things. And stay out of the middle ground between the two extremes.
Does it have anything to give us besides a catchy tune and nifty lyrics?
Accentuate the positive. What does this mean? Look for the good in life. One way to do this is to show gratitude for those positive things life brings to us. Several studies into gratitude prove its worth. Practicing gratitude and keeping a gratitude journal can improve our emotional and physical well-being. In fact, many who are afflicted with neuromuscular disease and practice daily gratitude have more positive feelings about life when compared to a control group.
Think about it for a moment. It’s sort of like having one of those little annoying bites or bumps. As long as there is something else to occupy your thoughts, it doesn’t really bother you.
But as soon as you try to relax or go to sleep, there it is, itching away or just for begging you to pick at it. It’s about where you’ve focused.
The premise behind the Law of Attraction is that you attract into your life whatever you think about. You attract what you focus on. Maybe you attract bad luck because you believe you will have bad luck, as an example.
What does this have to do with gratitude and accentuating the positive?
When you show gratitude or thanks for the good things in your life, you are focusing on the positive rather than the negative. You’re grateful for the blessings you’ve received and looking for more good things to come your way.
You attract what you think about. So if you’re thinking about how blessed you are, how abundant your life is, you will attract more abundance.
But how can I show gratitude? I’ve got debt up to here, my car broke down, I’ve got kids in college. Where do I have abundance?
Start with the little things. Remember that old saying? “See a pin. Pick it up. All the day you’ll have good luck.”
But only if you show gratitude for finding the pin! It might not be much, but you can be grateful for it. For instance, you didn’t step on it barefooted and jam it into your toe. That’s something to be thankful for. I have experience in this area. Trust me on this.
How about the quarter you found in the parking lot? Did you pick it up and say, “Look! I found a quarter! How can it get any better than this?” Or did you say, “It’s just a quarter. What can you do with a quarter?”
It’s all about your focus. Are you looking for the blessings in life, or for things that go wrong?
Are you thankful for the small things, or do you wait for something stupendous to happen before you’re grateful?
In Christian teaching, we are instructed to be careful of our thoughts.
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 KJV)
“Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative. Don’t mess with Mr. In-Between.”
It’s just another way of saying the same thing. Where your thoughts go, so will your heart. You will find what you look for.
My father used to say that if you went looking for trouble, you’d most likely find it. The reverse is also true.
Make a positive choice in life. Accentuate those positives. Ditch those negatives by the side of the road somewhere. And don’t mess with the in-betweens. They’ll lead you off the path and into the briar patch.
Keep those thoughts positive. Let’s make life a better place to be.
During the past two or three weeks, several people close to us have had loved ones in the ER with heart attacks, strokes, or other life threatening conditions. One man is slipping quickly away. His grandson is quite upset by the prospect of losing someone who has been with him throughout his entire life.
Is it wrong for him to feel this way? No. It is quite understandable. We all grieve for those who leave us at the end of their lives here. Yes, we will miss those who pass from this life. All of our memories of them, those day to day things that will be reminders of our times together, will make us miss them the more. Family traditions like that first cup of coffee in the morning, or early morning fishing trips, those special things we shared will be the hardest.
But we must also learn to say goodbye and let go. We shouldn’t try to hold on forever. And would we want to keep someone here who is in pain or who can’t live without machines? Is that really life? Isn’t it kinder to give them permission to go and end their suffering? Sometimes we are so afraid of losing someone’s presence and company we selfishly try to hang on beyond what is reasonable.
Once a person has finished whatever they were meant to accomplish during this lifetime, let them go graciously. When they’ve learned whatever lessons there were to learn, and finished their work, there is no reason to make them try to hang on to keep from hurting those they will leave behind. Let them know it’s all right to say goodbye.
To those who are in these circumstances right now, my heart goes out to you. It is difficult to say goodbye to our loved ones. But remember, this is merely a passing, a transition. We will be reunited at a later time.
These are only my thoughts on the matter and not meant to preach at or judge others. And if you’ve lost someone recently, I’m not telling you how to feel or how to grieve. Each person grieves in his or her own way. But we shouldn’t grieve forever. There has to come a time when we move on.
My intent is to give hope and ease pain, not criticize those who are grieving a loss. I’ve had my share of grief. I understand.
So what about this thing called death?
It is a transition from one state to another, a crossing over. It isn’t something to fear. It is finishing our work or lessons here and moving on. For those who have had hard and troubled lives, or who have been ill for a very long time, it is a release from their pain and trouble.
So grieve as you must, but be willing to let go. Don’t feel guilty when the sorrow begins to fade. Your sorrow will do that person no good. They are here no longer and are beyond those emotions. The pain is meant to fade as time goes on. Will you ever forget? No. But you can reach acceptance and move forward with your life. Don’t hold on to the past through the rest of your future.
To those who are grieving, you have my sincerest sympathy. The pain will eventually lessen and you will see the light of the future beckoning through the window.
Don’t be afraid to embrace that light. Let your sorrow fade and embrace your future.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and, as a survivor, I would like to share a little book I wrote telling of my struggle.
Cancer and the Warrior’s Way isn’t a technical document about breast cancer. It is a chronicle of what I experienced from the time of diagnosis through recovery. One of the most frightening things for me was not knowing what to expect during treatment. Doctors are great at what they do, but they cannot prepare you for the actuality of chemotherapy.
I wrote my story to give others hope and to show that someone else had been there and survived–not only cancer but its treatment.
If you know someone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, please share this book with them. Just knowing someone else understands can help.
Available in Kindle version or in paperback, share this with someone you love during Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
A piu tardi,
Mellie
Do you know someone who is afraid to live? Really live? Someone who’s life consists of strict routine, each and everyday the same with no deviation, no adventure? A person who has locked the door on anything new and shut the door to the world, happy to live alone in a box with no distractions?
Is this living? Or merely existing?
How can you live life to the full if you never reach out and embrace it?
We only grow if we are challenged, if we have to overcome obstacles in our path. A body builder doesn’t sculpt those muscles by lifting the same ten pound weight over and over again. He challenges his strength by increasing the weight on the bar, tearing down muscles to rebuild them stronger. He knows what he wants and works hard to make it so. He doesn’t let a little set back keep him from striving to reach his goal.
It’s the same way with life.
If we never accept a challenge, or test our abilities, how can we grow into better, stronger people? If we are comfortable accepting what we have, what we are now, for the rest of our lives, can we really say we’re living?
I’m not saying we all should go out and try to climb the Matterhorn. We don’t need to run a marathon. But we should reach out for something to define who we are. That could be writing a book, composing a song, painting something uniquely our own.
It could be opening our heart to someone once again and risk having it broken.
We need to let people into our lives, to share and exchange ideas without judging or interpreting motives. Accept them for who they are, not for what we want them to be, and see where it leads.
So many people think that everyone else sees the world the way they do, but this is incorrect. Two people standing side by side, who witness the same event, will each view it differently.
They aren’t standing in exactly the same spot, so their perspective is different.
They have different life experiences which will temper what they’ve seen accordingly.
Even identical twins will develop different life experiences from each other, as it is impossible for them to be in exactly the same place, at exactly the same time throughout their lives.
If you never let anyone close enough to know you, to change your perspective, you’ll never know what you could have learned or become because of them. If you never attempt something new, you’ll never now how well you would have done or how much you would have enjoyed the experience.
Seize life firmly, in both hands, without judging, and do something. Learn something new, do something different just for fun. Embrace each day as an opportunity to experience life and be grateful for it. Don’t simply exist.
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” (Ecc. 9:10 NIV)
Go out and live, enjoy life. Make it worth living. Don’t drift with the current. Use it to propel you on to something greater.
I challenge you to seize life.
Ciao amici miei…
Yes, the New Year has come and it’s time for all those New Year’s Resolutions.
Why do we make resolutions? We usually don’t keep them.
And if we really are determined to keep them, how do we go about it? Are there any tricks or tips to help us along the way?
If you’re looking for more information about New Year’s Resolutions, check out my new articles at Yahoo Voices.
http://voices.yahoo.com/new-years-resolutions-12468883.html
http://voices.yahoo.com/how-we-keep-our-years-resolutions-12468907.html
Have a wonderfully happy and healthy New Year!
Mellie
ShapeYourReality 